Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Hey everybody, it’s Queen Mab here, and today I am going to talk to you about visibility. Now, this is a word that I hadn’t really heard probably until last year, and there was some person on Instagram who was peddling their…their services as a visibility coach for women entrepreneurs, business owners, content creators, whatever. And I wish I could remember her name; she was based in Australia somewhere…I didn’t buy her program! But anyway, just this idea that it’s a struggle for many of us to be seen online because we’re afraid of what might happen – just to hear someone articulate that, and to hear that it isn’t just me – was such an incredible relief.
And then Bari Tessler, whose money work I find to be very helpful – she did an interview with someone named Danielle Cohen who is a…or Cohen, I’m sorry, I mispronounced her last name…Danielle Cohen who has a very…it seems like a very high…high class program for women who I’m sure are far more visible already than I am. But again, it was just interesting to see that there are many of us who require support in this area.
Now, I know that I am starting to make it as a YouTuber, because I’m getting those random spam comments. You know the ones I’m talking about? Where there’s like a string of gibberish letters? So I know that I’m on the up and up! And also, my channel periodically will get random trolls who want to tell me that I need a mirror and honest friends. Yeah, those are always fun to get.
So anyway, the point is that I took on this blogging challenge because I wanted to challenge myself to increase my visibility, but the fact of the matter is, it’s really scary. I remember a few years ago, I had a video that featured on a Uruguayan YouTube show called “Tiranos Temblad,” which is very, very popular, and it got like a thousand views, which is a big deal for me. And after that happened, I was afraid to post any more content, because I do talk about Uruguay a lot, and I think I need to do a whole separate vlog on my relationship with Uruguay, which is kind of deep and kind of intense. But I was afraid to post any more content, because I knew I wasn’t going to be posting Uruguay-related content regularly, so I was afraid that everyone who had subscribed to my channel after I was on Tiranos Temblad would unsubscribe, okay?
And I’m afraid to do these videos, because back when I was posting in 2016, 2017, 2018, I was doing these funny pandeiro lyric videos pretty regularly…like, once a week…I was on a pretty solid schedule there for a while. And it’s not that I’m not gonna do videos like that, because I am, but I guess I just feel really afraid to be posting these videos that are just of me talking or just of me interviewing somebody, because it feels like cheating. Like it feels like I’m not really being a real musician by doing this and by talking about this. And then there’s always the fear that I’m gonna say the wrong thing, and I’m gonna offend somebody, and I can tell you that as a neurodiverse person, this is a very real fear for me, because it happens a lot in all kinds of situations, okay?
So yeah, this is really hard. I mean, I go through cycles with social media. Like for awhile back in like…I don’t know, 2010, 2011, 2012 I was really using Twitter a lot. And then I started to blog, and I stopped using Twitter when my phone broke, and then I stopped blogging when someone in my family made fun of me for it and made a tweet that was very pejorative about what I was doing. And you know, I go round and round with Facebook, and the same thing with Instagram. And I don’t know, just the thought of Tik-Tok makes me want to break out in hives, okay? So I want to be visible, but I’m afraid to be visible, and also, you know, my brain can only handle so much.
So I’m interested to know – especially if you’re woman, AFAB, female-identifying – but you know, I’ll hear from men, too, of course – what do you do to manage your own issues with visibility, okay? Thanks so much, don’t forget to like, comment, subscribe, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye!