Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Well hey friends, it’s Queen Mab here. I’m gonna do another one of these car vlogs just to make sure that I get it done today. And I’m gonna do a little follow up on my executive function post and also just give you a little insight about what it’s like to rehearse for me as a professional drummer.
So you can see my drum set is back there, and guess what? I did not take it out of the car, so it’s been in the car for three weeks. And I went to my rehearsal, and I was thinking, “Oh my God, how is this gonna go? What’s gonna happen?” And I was also really nervous, because we were going over some new songs, and I probably spent max 15 to 20 minutes listening to them and writing down some notes about the tempo and about the beginnings and endings and transitions. I mean, it was…it was a very fast thing. And guess what? Everything went just fine.
So I always wondered when I was younger – especially when I was in college – like, when am I going to get to the point where I don’t feel this constant anxiety about “Is my playing good enough?” and “Am I prepared enough?” Guess what? That anxiety has never gone away. That anxiety is still very present – even in a relatively low pressure situation like this band.
Okay, so that’s how I was feeling leading up to it, right? I was really stressed, and there’s a lot going on in my life, so I was kind of depressed, and my drums have been in the car, and I was thinking, “Oh my God, I’m so bad, I’m such a bad musician with my executive dysfunction and my neurodivergence and blah blah blah.” Well, guess what? We did the rehearsal, you know. It was a little rocky at the start, I think, but we ironed all of that out, and my hands knew what to do, and it went really well.
And now it’s over, and I feel really happy. Like I feel at peace and you know, all these things that I was so stressed out about beforehand just don’t seem to be so big and scary. This used to happen to me in college, too. It would especially happen – I’d have lessons with certain teachers, and I’d go in, and I’d be so stressed and anxious and all that, and then we’d just sit there and play drums and talk about music for an hour, and then when it was over, I’d feel amazing. And it’s really cool that I’m still experiencing that at this point in my career.
So anyway, this video is for me as much as it’s for you just to remind me that there’s a reason that I do this, and I get really great satisfaction from playing my instrument and from playing it with other people. So anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you today. If you’d like to see more of my comment [content], you can visit queenmabmusic.com. Don’t forget to like, comment, or subscribe, and I’ll see you next time. Bye!