Polluting Your Newsfeed With My Amateur Art

Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:

(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)

Hey, this is Queen Mab…still awkwardly video blogging from my car…and today, I would like to talk to you about being creative in a medium in which I am not trained, okay?

So I have extensive training as a musician – as a percussionist specifically. That’s probably the area where I have the most training. I would say I have some training as a writer, ‘cuz I mean, we all have to go to school, and we all have to write, so, you know…theoretically, I’ve been taught how to do that. I have a little bit of training in dance…not a lot…but someone definitely had to teach me, because let me tell you…I needed teaching. 

One area that I’ve never really formally studied is visual art. And yet, I’ve always loved to draw. And so I think I talked in an earlier vlog about doing Inktober last year, and doing one drawing for each of the thirty prompts, and how much fun I had doing that. And then at my work, they were having an art exhibit…a faculty art exhibit…and they asked for submissions. And…I submitted my notebook that had my drawings in it. And that was a very scary thing to do, because again…theoretically, anyone can draw, but I really don’t know what I’m doing.

So today there was a gallery opening, and my book was there for people to page through…and people were doing it! And the art teacher at school came up and complimented the way I had drawn my dark sky backgrounds, and you know, every time I would look at it, it was on a different page. So people were actually looking at it and responding to it, which was really cool. 

Now I have to tell you, I’ve been posting a lot of my drawings on Instagram, and every time I do it, I feel so stressed out about it, because I’m thinking “I have no business polluting people’s news feeds with this stuff,” you know? “People don’t wanna see this. They wanna see things that are really well done.” But I’ve been challenging myself to do it, anyway, because it’s a free country, I guess! I don’t know! I don’t really know why I’m doing it. I guess I’m just practicing taking up space – the same way that I am with these crazy video blogs. So there’s that.

Then I got to thinking, “You know, why is it that I’m more willing to post these drawings than I am to post like, daily videos of myself playing?” Well, there’s a few reasons for that. First of all, I feel more comfortable posting something that I’m not trained in, because if it sucks, oh well! I’m not trained in it, right? But if I post a drum thing and it sucks, well, then I don’t really know what I’m doing, okay?

I think another reason is that I haven’t really figured out yet how to film myself drumming in such a way that it actually looks and sounds good, so…that’s another issue. And I guess the third one is just fear, you know? Fear of being criticized. You know, you can criticize my art. That’s fine. I’m not really an artist. But if you criticize my music, well, that’s central to my identity, so that’s gonna be a lot harder. But anyway, I’d like to get over that. I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but…that will be my next trick. 

So I’d love to hear from YOU. Have you had any experience like this where you’ve tried an art form that like, wasn’t your primary jam? Have you ever felt scared to post something online that WAS your primary jam? And if you did, how did you get over it? Let me know in the comments; I’d love to hear from you. 

Anyway, I’m Queen Mab, and if you’d like to see more of my content, you can visit queenmabmusic.com. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and I’ll see you next time. Bye!