Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:

(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)

Hey everybody, it’s Queen Mab, and I just saw something so incredibly disturbing that I have to make a video asking about it, because I truly can’t believe that this is a thing, and that thing is…ASMR.

So today was one of those days…I’m really gonna confess, like…probably not the best teacher day. I’m still really, really tired. I think I say in every single one of these videos how tired I am. So you’re probably tired of hearing about it, but…my 7th graders came in like a herd of beasts the way that they usually do, and I put on a video to see if I could get them to calm down, and this turned into another video, and another video, and then they were saying, “Ms. Barnes! Ms. Barnes! Put on [mumble mumble mumble] ASMR!” I won’t say which channel they told me to put it on. So I said “Okay.”

It’s literally this video of the sounds from this girl eating macaroni and cheese. Like, it’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen! And then I looked at how many subscribers there are on this channel, and there are all these videos, and they all had like, thousands and thousands of views, and I was like…what is this? Like…here I am working so hard to like, craft these funny, intelligent songs and shows and, you know…I’m getting paid peanuts for you know, basically trying to make sure a bunch of kids learn something about music when really, all they want to do is play video games and touch each other. And people are making all this money on YouTube recording disgusting sounds from them eating macaroni and cheese! Like…what is this?!?

And so I Googled it, and I read about it, and apparently, like…people really like to watch these horrible videos of awful sounds. Like, this is something that really, I guess, calms some people down. Wow. I mean…I wanna be careful here, because you know I’m all about neurodiversity, and everybody’s brains work differently, and I’m sure that for some people’s brains, this is really great, but for my brain, this is like, the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen. Well…sorry, that’s exaggerating a lot, but…it’s pretty disturbing. So why do people like it? I don’t know. I don’t get it. If you’re into ASMR, please explain it to me…because what I saw today just really…like I just lost a lot of faith in humanity.

So anyway, that’s it. If you want to see what I do – which is not ASMR – you can visit queenmabmusic.com. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe, I guess…and um…yeah…Stay away from that stuff, because it’s bizarre!

ASMR…WTF?!?!?!

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