Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Hey everybody, it’s Queen Mab here. It is night time. I got my jam-jam’s on, and I even have my retainer in, see? Haha. Boy…you know you’ve got an interesting relationship with vlogging when you’re willing to film yourself at night looking like crap.
Anyways, I had a very big day today, because today was the first time since February of 2020 that I have played any of my original music in public with a pandeiro in front of an audience, and it felt really good. So I have three videos from the occasion. It was my friend Kat’s birthday, and a big shout-out and thank you to Kat for having the party and for letting me play and to Kat and Ash for doing an amazing job setting up the sound system. So…anyway, Kat took some video, and I’m going to let you see that. And I’m going to keep my words short tonight. I’m so tempted not to post it, because I just watched it, and I can tell you like nine million different mistakes that I made, but as Reshma Saujani said – men get rewarded for being brave, and women get rewarded for being perfect, so clearly, I am not doing perfect right now. Enjoy the videos! Thanks!
(transition to clip of performance)
QM: Poor guy was like “stay away from my dog!”
Ash: We’re kidnappers!
QM: Okay…should I start?
Ash: Yeah!
QM: Okay…well, this song is about wanting to have sex, and not getting to…
Cashew: That’s me all day long, go girl!
QM: So, if you have a problem with hearing the word “sex” lots of times, then you should probably go home now.
Cashew: Yeah, bye!
QM: Okay…bye! (starts playing)
Every Monday I made sure to wash my hair
I even bought a brand new dress
I always wore my earrings and a necklace, too
Hoping you would be impressed
The other women in the class made fun of me
They thought that it was weird and asked me why
I told them I had only just got off from work
I hope they didn’t know that was a lie!
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
I hope I don’t come on too strong…
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Oh please, don’t make me wait too long!
I wrote to you on LinkedIn (how embarrassing!)
I didn’t know what else to do
I thought that it was worth the risk of looking creepy
To get to spend some time with you
I Googled you to make sure you were single
But honestly, I couldn’t really tell
I knew that there was no ring on your finger
I guess I prob’ly thought that boded well
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Oh can’t you see how hard I’ve tried?
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
It’s clear I don’t have any pride!
I paid for my own pizza and for my own beer
I didn’t even once complain
And when I said candombe was from Argentina
I acted suitably ashamed
And then when you got angry that I Googled you
I knew my face was prob’ly turning red
I even gave a most sincere apology, but
You looked at me and only shook your head!
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Although I look like I’m a fool…
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
I swear to God I’m really cool!
You said you liked my video and thought that it was rad
You said that I speak Portuguese exactly like your dad
You said I know the answers, and you think that I’m so wise
So what’s it gonna take to have your face between my thighs?
I knew that you had mentioned you were leaving soon
You told me that right off the bat
You also said your sister would come help you move
That’s prob’ly when I smelled a rat
This obviously isn’t my first rodeo
I’ve fallen for that “sister” thing before
I doubt that that was really who was coming, but
I guess I’ll never be completely sure
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Before you leave and go too far…
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Can’t we just do it in your car?
I haven’t tried to contact you in any way at all
I haven’t sent an email and I haven’t tried to call
I’ve made you all this music that I’ve written and produced
Oh won’t you tell me, darling, what you need to be seduced?
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Although I know you’re far away…
Can we have sex now?
Can we have sex now?
Are you so sure that you’re not gay?
(¡olé!)
QM: Thank you very much. If I die tomorrow, that’s the song they’ll remember me for. It’s called…”Can We Have Sex Now?”