Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Hey everybody, this is Queen Mab, and today I am going to talk to you about projects that I just can’t finish. I used to think – I don’t know if I thought I was alone in this, but it never really occurred to me that this is something that a lot of creative people struggling with – struggle with – because I think that you know, we all have a lot of different projects that are going on at one time, and I don’t where I got the idea that it needs to be like okay finish a project…okay, next project…finish a project…okay, next project…finish a project, next project…it’s never like that.
And last fall I learned about the writings of British neurologist Oliver Sacks, and I watched this documentary about his life called “My Own Life” [Actually, it’s “His Own Life” – my bad!] And for the first fifteen minutes, I really didn’t like him. I was like, “Oh, who is this horrible British blowhard?” But then he dropped his glasses on the table, and he said, “Fuck!” And then he picked his glasses up, and he dropped them again, and he said, “Bugger!” And then he picked them up and dropped them again, and he said, “Buggerfuck!” And that was the moment that I became an Oliver Sacks fan.
But anyway, I don’t remember if it was in the documentary, or if it was in his book “My Own Life,” [actually, it’s called “On the Move” – dammit!] but he talks about this book he wrote about this leg injury that he had, and it’s called “Leg” [it’s called “A Leg to Stand On” – argh!]. And he had a very, very difficult time finishing it. He finished other books and other projects and did other things, but that leg book just wouldn’t end. And then he finally did manage to finish it. Well, I have an EP that…by the way, that stands for “Extended Play,” which I didn’t know until a few years ago. It’s because nobody has the money to produce albums, and nobody has the attention span to listen to albums, so now we just make “EP’s,” okay, which is like…between three and five songs. A single is one song, right?
So I wanted to make a three song EP, and I wanted all three of the songs to be about my time in college at an institution of higher learning in the midwest which, for the moment, shall remain nameless, okay? And I finished the first one. The first one is really rad. Although to be fair, it took me three years to write that song, so already maybe that was a harbinger of what was to come with this project.
The second song I’ve written. I have yet to arrange it or even record a little demo of it for YouTube. And then the third song is the problem. Because what I want to write about is a – a group that I was in in college that was for women in music, and how important that group was to me, and how sad that I feel that I don’t have anything like that now as an adult. And also that I see a lot of us being sort of shunted into this very…this sort of straight jacket of… Job! Motherhood! You know? Family! No time for friends or music or anything else! And I…I really don’t like that. But I’ve had some trouble figuring out what is this song gonna be. I’ve had some different ideas, but I haven’t just like, sat my butt down to do it.
But then in the meantime, I’ve written two shows. And I will tell you – with “Yes, No, Maybe So,” if anybody’s seen my solo show – all of that music, I literally like pulled it out of my butt at the last minute, okay? That whole show was just like a race to the deadline. But somehow it came out pretty nicely, whereas this EP, this mysterious EP – I think I’m gonna call it “Fairchild West” after the one song that I have finished. It’s just been languishing in the pipeline for years. Now, what I probably should do is just release “Fairchild West” as a single and not worry about the other two tunes, but I…I don’t know, I wanted it to be like a three song…like a three movement (in snobby classical music parlance) thing. That was really important to me.
So this is where I’d like to hear from you. What do you do when you get stuck on a project? Does anybody have any advice, comments, suggestions? I’m gonna share with you right now the demo of the Fairchild West song. I guess it’s not a demo, but it hasn’t been mastered. So I’ll post that, and you can listen to it. Let me know if you enjoy it, and maybe that will light a fire under my butt to actually finish this album. You can go to queenmabmusic.com for more of my content. Don’t forget to like, comment, subscribe…or not…and I’ll see you next time. Bye.
(song plays)
You are the ass master
among the cinder blocks
with the pool of light
beside your open door
And you sit late at night, talking to the lonely girls
Never wondering what it is that they are looking for,
Well, I’ll give you a hint: it isn’t candy
Nor your stimulating conversation
And though you’re blind and you’re clueless, just like all the rest,
You are the number one attraction here at Fairchild West
You told me that we couldn’t be together just because
I had come out of the womb a couple years too late
But then you took me to a movie, and you kissed me on the cheek,
Yeah, comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate
With your black eyes, and your jangling keys,
and your British accent that made me weak in the knees,
You were a man of three letters: a – s – s
And you really had no business there at Fairchild West
I hope that there’s a special place in hell for every man who’s ever told a woman to calm down Right next to Hitler
And Stalin
And Kim-Jong Il
(You didn’t understand, and I doubt you ever will)
You took me out to wine and dine me
Never giving any indication
And at last, you told me it was all for the best,
As you left me in the vestibule of Fairchild West.
The lights on Sheridan Road shone bright
Yeah, your hand was brown and my hand was white
I read The Alchemist like you told me to
And if anybody needed a shrink, it was you
I arrived at your office with a bird in hand
All I got was dismissal and a reprimand
You told me not to come back if my reasons weren’t good
So I disappeared, like I thought I should
I know you’re far away in the freezing cold
At your corporate job, slowly growing old
Yeah, your life looks like it’s going swimmingly
And I wonder if you ever have a thought of me
What I want is for you to understand
To come down from the pedestal of being a man
Because it hurts to this very day, I confess,
That to me you’ll always be the face of Fairchild West.
And I want to forgive you
And I wish I could
And I wish I could release you from my heart for good You’re my rosebud; And I’m Charles Kane
On my death bed, I’ll prob’ly say your name
I hope that I never run into you
Because if I did, I don’t know what I’d do
You told me someday I’d look back on this and laugh
Well, guess what? It hasn’t happened yet!