Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Hey everybody, this is Queen Mab. I am experimenting with using a microphone, which is over here, and that’s why I’m wearing these ridiculous headphones. Today I would like to play a song that I wrote for you about a year ago, which is about…dick! So if you don’t want to hear me say the word “dick” a whole bunch of times, don’t watch this video.
So this song is based on a couple of articles that I read. The first one is by Alana Massey, and it’s called “The Dickonomics of Tinder.” And she explains that dick is abundant and low value. And then the second article [“To Catch a Dick”] is by Reina Gattuso, and she basically does a variant on that theme where she talks about the fact that those of us who like men are trained that we have to do some very specific things in order to get men to like us, and then we’re constantly being harassed on the street. So anyway…here’s a little song that I wrote in homage to these two articles. Here we go.
[Plays pandeiro and sings]
I live my life so worried that I’ll never find a man
They tell me I should hurry and come up with a plan
The good ones are all taken, and they won’t want you
So everybody wants to tell me what to do
They say that I should smile, wear make-up and be ready to flirt
But then I’m on the subway and some guy keeps reaching up my skirt
Don’t you believe it, ‘cuz it’s not true
You know it’s nothing to do with you
You know that dick is abundant and low value!
They say as you get older, there will be fewer men
And they’ll only want to date somebody younger than them
I know you worked your hardest to fill your head with knowledge, but
You really should have done your best to meet someone in college!
They say I better hurry and find one while I still have a chance
But then I’m on the trolley and some guy’s unbuttoning his pants
Don’t you believe it, ‘cuz it’s not true
You know it’s nothing to do with you
You know that dick is abundant and low value!
Well, I’ve done everything that they say you should
I’ve read every damn self-help book that I heard was good
I can’t get past the second date (or third if I am lucky)
Then some guy in a truck yells out, “Hey baby, wanna fuck me?”
A friend of mine, she found a guy, a real attractive lawyer
But then she had a baby, and he pretty much ignores her
To find a man like that, they say you’ve got to deserve it
I don’t mean to be difficult – but is it really worth it?
They tell you that the good ones are rare, or they’re few and far between
But how long are they good for? I guess that might remain for us to see
Don’t you believe it, ‘cuz it’s not true
You know it’s nothing to do with you
You know that dick is abundant and low value!
[Speaks]
Thanks so much everybody. My name is Queen Mab. If you’d like to see more of my content, you can visit queenmabmusic.com. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and I’ll see you next time. Bye!