Click here or on the image below to watch the livestream recording of my solo show for $9.99 USD. Scroll down for my blog post on the decision to share it with the world.
A year or so ago, I stumbled upon Reshma Saujani’s TED talk. She articulated something I had never been able to put into words: as a society, we reward boys for being brave, and we reward girls for being perfect. Her talk is about girls who code, so the first thing I remembered was a “tech” example. In high school, I learned how to adjust the tension screw on balanced action timpani at a summer music camp. When school started again, I would make adjustments every day to try to keep the pedals working on the ancient, crappy timpani in our high school band room. One day, the pedal slipped, and the band director called in a crotchety ex-symphony musician who had all the charm of a sleazy, early twentieth century peddler. He fixed the timpani, pointed at the screw, and then yelled at me: “Never, ever touch that again!” I knew that, had I been a guy, the advice would have been more like “Nice try, son…let me show you how this works.”
The second thing I thought of was Mr. Uruguay, the “star” of my show. When I met him, I knew there was a snowball’s chance in hell he would be single, and if he was, there was no way he would be interested in a dorky, crunchy girl like me. Still, I asked him out. I let him know that I was interested. As I predicted, he was not. But instead of feeling proud of myself for being brave, I felt profoundly ashamed for having taken the risk.
I’m having a similar reaction to the livestreamed recording of my show. It is not perfect. I flubbed lines. I made obvious mistakes during several songs. There were also technical issues, such as inaudible voice overs, that were beyond my control. Some of these errors had to do with the fact that as I was preparing for the performance, I was also teaching an online songwriting class for 6-12th graders that I had never taught before. Some of it was because I’d never done this version of the show with characters and dialogue. Some of it was because I’d never performed for a camera and no audience.
Thus, I haven’t been sure how aggressively to promote a product that isn’t perfect. But I also have no idea when I will have another chance to do the show – livestreamed or in person. In the spirit of Reshma Saujani, I’ve decided to do what I can to market the show. I’m worried people will judge me for the mistakes I made. I’m worried no one will be interested in a flawed remake of a show I’ve done before when there are hundreds of perfectly produced new TV shows to watch on Netflix and Hulu. I’m also worried I don’t have enough time to adequately promote it now that school has started.
That said – I’m going to be brave. Here is Queen Mab and the International Man of Mystery – How I Learned to Stop Googling and Love Uruguay. It’s not perfect, but my livestream audience told me they laughed and they cried, and they were still laughing and singing the next day. I hope you enjoy the show!
**Note: in the scene after the election, the Inner Bitch asks Detective Google to look up “Operation Condor” twice. The second time, she/I should have said “School of the Americas.” This is the mistake I am most upset about. (North) Americans need to know the truth about our history of imperialism in South America!