Here is the transcription of my most recent video blog:
(And here’s the audio on AnchorFM)
Hey friends, it’s Queen Mab, and tonight I am going to talk to you about what I like about the Twelve Step programs. Because in my last few episodes, I’ve been talking about some of the issues I have with Twelve Step dogma, and yet, I’ve been going now for ten years, so what am I getting out of it? What do I like?
Well, as a neurodivergent person, one thing I love about the Twelve Steps is that it is…or, the Twelve Step programs I should say…it’s a group of people sitting around talking about real stuff. There is no small talk in the course of the meeting. Yes, it happens before the meeting and after the meeting, but during the meeting…there’s no talking about the weather, talking about the Padres, talking about…whatever. That appeals to me so much, because I am not a fan of small talk.
Another thing I really love about the meetings is the fact that there is a timer. Now, I have this monitor…kind of like in Ender’s Game, except it’s inside my head…this monitor that is on whenever I’m in a conversation that is going over how long I am speaking for and how long the other person is speaking, and I’m always trying to monitor myself to make sure that I don’t talk too much. And if the other person is talking too much, I also start to get kind of irritated, because I’m working so hard to restrain myself, right?
If I am in a conversation with more than one person, it’s starts to feel like one of those traffic intersections where the traffic light is blinking red, and everyone has to remember the rules from Driver’s Ed where the person on the right goes first, but nobody really remembers, and no one’s really sure who stopped first, so everyone’s just freaking out, and…that’s how I feel, and that’s how my monitor is when I’m in these multi-person conversations, it’s just like…”Okay, that person…okay…oh wait, is it my turn? Oh…oh no, I forgot what I was going to say! Oh, wait the other person…mleghhh!!” It’s crazy making.
So in Twelve Step, where we’ve got this timer, so I don’t have to worry about “Am I talking too much? Are they talking too much?” There’s a timer, okay? And everybody takes their turn. That is just so wonderful for my neurodiverse brain. I have to say- I suspect that there may be a very high number of neurodiverse people in the Twelve Step rooms – first of all, because we all think that there’s something wrong with us, because oh…we’ve been told that from day one. So we also might be more likely to struggle with addictions, because the world is so overwhelming for us…but also, just because the rules there make sense! And they’re very clear in a way that they are not out in the neurotypical world.
So those are a few of the things that I love about being in the Twelve Step rooms, and I may do another episode where I talk about a few more of them. So…thanks so much for tuning in. If you like what I’m talking about, you can visit queenmabmusic.com for more of my content. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and I’ll see you next time. Bye!